There’s been no knocks at the door from sheriff’s deputies consoling sobbing housewives. No friends or politicians injured from an exploding Whoopee Cushion. No familiar and inquiring faces from the

Truly, I tried mightily to get out of speaking at the recent SCV Latter-Day Saints Family Genealogy Fair. I’ve nothing against the dear Josephites. I was worried about the time

We are living in Victor Hugo times, except, so far, our tragedies seem somewhat junior varsity. No walls of human corpses to furtively stroll past. No Mongol hordes to flee.

Ah, the index finger. The most dangerous of digits, more so than the provocative second from the thumb? Key to your sister’s chastity belt? Grandmama’s IQ? That’s Why You Have

A dear friend sincerely asked if I’d consider “switching teams.” He didn’t mean I should start wearing bun-hugger short-shorts, mascara and fan myself coquettishly as I lament how difficult it

I saw two dead people Sunday night. It was late. I was headed home, driving through a deserted downtown Los Angeles. As I rounded the corner, the still-warm bodies were posed

Many years ago now, I strangled my baby brother. No need to send the police. It was a justifiable homicide. My youngest sibling-like substance, Hondo, is interesting. He’s never had

So amidst all the madness of impeachment, Oscar bozos, the agonizing mystery of where Patriots QB and multimillionaire Tom Brady and his supermodel wife will dwell, living in an absolute

After following the explosion in a clown factory previously called the Iowa Caucuses, I’ve decided to change my name to Bernie Sanders-Boston and run for president. As a Democrat. What

I have a friend who contemplated suicide. Dear me. I suspect I’ve many friends who, at one time, when things grew so dark, secretly contemplated this ultimate narcissism. Beneath the dirt,