By David Hegg
Sometimes going backward can be both rewarding and upsetting. Consider Robert Fulghum’s cogent little book “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” Published in 1986, this volume of collected essays reminded us all that the essential values of life — sharing, honesty, kindness, personal responsibility, and a few others — were best learned in early childhood and meant to shape our lives.
Most parents would agree that instilling courtesy, self-control, civility, truth, perseverance and a host of other values in children is essential for establishing the ethical foundation that will enable them to become valuable contributors to society. However, as I look around our culture and see the dangerous erosion of courtesy and civil behavior, it seems Mr. Fulghum needs to come out with a refresher course in right and wrong.
One of the simple childhood lessons I remember learning was that two wrongs don’t make a right. For those of us who didn’t attend kindergarten, let me try to define and explain this monumental truth. It goes like this: If you are harmed by someone or something wrong – that is, unethical, harmful, or just plain mean – you should not respond in kind because wrong plus wrong still equals wrong. Simply put, doing what you have concluded is wrong because you have suffered what you have labeled as wrong, is … wait for it … wrong!
The obvious conclusion here is that vengeance is never a righteous and virtuous act. Serving vengeance to those we have previously convicted in our minds of wrongdoing is pure and simple hypocrisy. And those who dress themselves up in hypocrisy should be ashamed rather than applauded.
However, let’s take a closer look at a few current examples. In these cases, those wronged responded in kind and yet considered their actions ethical and worthy of applause. They threw out kindergarten virtues and proclaimed that responding to wrong with wrong actually makes things right.
For example, consider our country’s front-row seat to the levels of incivility over the past six months. We’ve watched as those who thought Charlie Kirk was ideologically wrong actually suggested that his public assassination was not all that wrong. And, if the first information coming out of the horrific shooting in the church in Michigan is correct, the shooter believed that the LDS congregation’s belief system was so wrong that shooting them and setting their building on fire, both of which a normal kindergartner would call wrong and evil, was right. In both of these examples, every ethical person must agree that responding to wrong with wrong can’t be accepted as proper in a society that intends to thrive.
And I have one more example that is staring us in the face. I must admit, I was shocked to the point of laughter when Gov. Gavin Newsom began his rant against the gerrymandering scheme announced by Texas legislators. Frankly, his robust denigration of his fellow Americans in Texas seemed excessive for someone claiming to be educated and civil. However, it was his prompt response that really shocked me. He reminded me of a 4-year-old caught fisticuffing. “He started it! He took my hat and ran away with it! So, I socked him!”
Apparently, our governor considers gerrymandering to be despicable, unethical, and just plain wrong. He called down shame on the Texans and then immediately announced his plan to out-wrong them and call it right.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Sometimes it is both good and right to “fight fire with fire.” But consider that, while this slogan may apply to war, it can’t be acceptable when battling a house fire. And if you look around, we’re watching a whole bunch of ethical houses burning out of control. The bottom line in all this must cause us to ask, “How have we so dehumanized those we oppose that we now call evil good? How have we gerrymandered language to alter reality to the point where disagreement is hatred, and mean-spirited name-calling and even violent opposition are now acceptable?”
I recently read an article that suggested America, as one nation under God, should get back to the Lord’s Prayer. In this divinely inspired teaching from Jesus, he calls his disciples to ask their Father to “forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
So, maybe God is asking too much of us. Perhaps it is impossible to forgive some things. Then again, Erika Kirk publicly forgave the one who made her a widow and her children fatherless. You may think that is just plain wrong. But then again, millions of us call it brave, virtuous, and most of all, good for her heart and ours.
Local resident David Hegg is senior pastor of Grace Baptist Church. “Ethically Speaking” appears Sundays.
