So I bought some bubblegum the other day. Like, a lot. I was pushing my cart through one of Santa Clarita’s abundant mega discount box stores and happened to roll

DEAR SCOTT —  I remember when you sailed away, so long ago. Your 1992 demise was wedged between Halloween and the presidential election, upstaging both. In case you’re not getting The

Of all the liberal women on Planet Earth, I confidently announce that the absolute A-No. 1 Poor Choice for a Democrat spokeswoman to call for a National Sex Strike is

What should I complain about today? Funny career I’ve chosen, writing the bottom end of tens of thousands of opinion pieces, complaining about wars, stupidity, that new crappy excuse for

For decades now, I love keeping track of the weather. I love checking on friends scattered across the country. It’s 100 here and Tweedie’s Montana is flooding. Jan in Idaho

A couple months ago, I was summoned to the Backwoods Inn. Two dear pals were finishing dinner. Miracle of cellphones, they called to ask if I wanted to join them

I didn’t have a normal childhood. I remember making a perfectly reasonable, second-grade-request to my parents for a dog. Specifically? Lassie. And if they couldn’t kidnap the TV star hound,

So I’m running for governor. Like, of California. And if you don’t vote for me, you’re a racist. See how you like that following you around the rest of your

I was delighted that, after 50 years, Congress is holding hearings about the existence of UFOs. A committee has been poring over thousands of out-of-focus, fuzzy images of something flying

Years ago, a dear liberal friend of mine since childhood took me to lunch for the express purpose of me explaining conservatism. She finally put two-&-two together that all her