He would have been accepting his high school diploma from Harvard-Westlake School this month.
But now, almost two years after 16-year-old Trey Brown decided to take his own life, his parents, Christine and Donald Brown along with Trey’s siblings — Ruby, Shiloh and Madison — have started their own organization, “Trey Loves You,” to support mental health awareness and the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
As they started “Trey Loves You,” Donald and Christine decided to host the inaugural 988 Invitational with volleyball teams from all over the Santa Clarita Valley at Golden Valley High School on Sunday.
“When he passed away, we were in a state where we were grieving so hard that we couldn’t really think of what we wanted to do to honor him … we came across this kind of like epiphany about having a foundation where we originally were thinking, and it’s something that my son, Trey, we had spoken about,” Donald said.
Growing up in Stevenson Ranch, Trey went to West Ranch High School and played all kinds of sports like basketball and volleyball.
After his ninth grade year, he got the opportunity to go to Harvard-Westlake and enjoyed his time there.
“We decided that we wanted to … we wanted to do something to honor Trey, but we didn’t want to focus on how he died. Originally, we were like, ‘We want to do something to stop suicide,’ to bring awareness to it, at least. And then, I told my wife (Christine) that, that’s emotionally, this is too much for me,” Donald said.
Donald continued listing Trey’s attributes, saying he was unique, kind and loving.
Donald said the year he and his family planned the event felt special since Trey loved playing volleyball.
“Most of the kids in the valleys are (a) close-knit group and all the guys came up together playing different sports. So, this was special, and we wanted to do the tournament, and, you know, it’s the first endeavor, so we said, ‘We’ll try it,’” Donald said.
When asked what Donald has learned about himself through this process of grief, he took a moment to compose an answer.
“I think I’ve learned that there’s a lot that I still have to learn about being a good parent,” Donald said in a softer voice.
Donald told a story about him and his wife, Christine, and how they were in a place where they felt like everything was falling into place.
“I kind of felt like we, my wife and I, ‘We got this. We have it. We have it under control, and we’re juggling schedules, and the kids are doing good, socially, academically and all that good kind of stuff.’ And then losing Trey was just kind of like, ‘Wow,’” Donald said.
When asked if Donald had any advice for families going through the same thing, he paused and then said, “give each other (parents and children) grace.”
“I think a lot of grace will go a long way. So, parents particularly, it’s hard for us to do this, but especially as they’re … the dawn of becoming adults. And we’re still holding on as those parents,” Donald said. “That, we have to release them and let them be able to go out and make some mistakes and allow them to do that. And I think that’s one of the things that can stand in the way of a child communicating with you, is if they’re afraid that you’re just going to take over.”
To support Trey Loves You, visit TreyLovesYou.org.
