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Author: John Boston
This author has written 814 articles
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John Boston

John Boston

John Boston | National Slap a Co-Worker Day Is Coming Soon

June 28, 2024 4:01 am

I’ve been completely in the dark about this. Just recently, I discovered that, every year, until the end of American Civilization, Oct. 23 is National Slap Your Co-Worker Day. Mark

The Timer Ranger

The Time Ranger | Grave Robbers, Nuclear War & Spencer Tracy  

June 22, 2024 5:58 am

C’mon, dear saddlepals. Roll out of the bunks and hop into those jeans. Don’t make me say the obvious. You get double minus bonus points if we catch you in

John Boston

John Boston | Going Nuts Over Donuts? Dough-nuts?

June 21, 2024 4:19 am

It all started from one innocent story in The Mighty Signal. In the June 11 issue of America’s most resplendent periodical, an article was apparently riddled with errors. It was

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | SCV Sasquatch Offered a Job Hauling Trash? 

June 15, 2024 1:45 am

That orange orb menacingly rising in the east? That’s what we old-timers call, “the sun.” Some of you saddlepals might be hiding under blanket or pillow. Some of you may

John Boston

John Boston | D-Day & the Busted Circle of J.Q. Adams

June 14, 2024 1:38 am

D-Day was last week. That would be the World War II turning-point invasion of Europe. Not the robust brassiere cup size. June 6, 1944, was six years before I was

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | Two, Count Them, TWO Lone Rangers! 

June 8, 2024 4:01 am

A warm and Western howdy to you, dear saddlepals, as we start knocking on the door of summer. We’ve a most interesting trek ahead into the foothills and back canyons

John Boston

John Boston | Your Baseball Cap Screams What You Are

June 7, 2024 1:18 am

Editor’s note: The following “Best of Boston” column was originally published Aug. 11, 2023. I am probably the absolute last person to write an essay on dressing up. Except for

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | When Just About Everybody Lost Their Jobs 

June 1, 2024 3:11 am

You up yet? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. And sorry again. I know. It’s the weekend and the sun isn’t up. Couldn’t we be civilized and just skip our Saturday horseback ride

John Boston

John Boston | SoCalEdison? We Swear. We’re Not Digging Any Holes.

May 31, 2024 6:16 am

Dear Southern California Edison,  Thank you just oodles for your recent correspondence and concern, urging my caution for slicing the main wire that connects Los Angeles to San Diego while

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | When Patty Hearst Hid Out in the SCV  

May 25, 2024 1:55 am

Make sure those fetching designer cowboy and cowgirl hats are on tight. We’ve got low-flying Santa Clarita Valley UFOs overhead.  It’s going to be a beautiful and exciting trek into

John Boston

John Boston | Biden’s Rules for 1st CNN Debate

May 24, 2024 5:03 am

Recently, President Joe Biden surprised the planet and agreed to debate former President Donald Trump in two televised meetings. Supposedly, one is in June and one is in September. A

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | My Cowgal Pal Heroes: Cactus Kate & Rose  

May 18, 2024 8:16 am

Getting shot in the butt while you’re hopping on one foot, trying to put your pants on. HATE when that happens. But that’s what happened to our own legendary bandito,

John Boston

John Boston | For Xmas? Get Me a Dog Toting a Flame Thrower

May 17, 2024 6:10 am

Oh I’ve died and, save for $9,420 plus tax, gone to heaven. A pal recently sent me a link noting that they now are selling a Flame-Throwing Robot Dog. Besides

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | A 150-Year-Old Signal Chicken for Sale … 

May 11, 2024 10:25 am

Don’t mean to moan and whine as it’s most non-cowboyish, but one has to get up mighty darn early to saddle several thousand horses for these weekend trail rides.  A

John Boston

John Boston | My Major League Inter-Dimensional Newhall Team

May 10, 2024 6:33 am

Over the centuries, scientists and philosophers have pondered Heaven and Hell, other dimensions. The Vikings had Valhalla, a laughably violent realm where warriors battled all day and hacked each other

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | When Castaic Calvin Was Almost 1944’s Miss USC

May 4, 2024 4:29 am

Sure love this pleasant May weather. Wish the days and nights could be this way all year long. What say we take some of it back with us on our

John Boston

John Boston | Our New Reality: City Speed Bumps Just Everywhere!

May 3, 2024 6:20 am

COLUMNIST NOTE: This pains me to add the clarification of “SATIRE” prior to this alleged prose. It’s like adding the disclaimer of, “LOOK OUT! WITCHES!!” before staging “MacBeth.” To be

The Time Ranger

John Boston | SCV Nuclear Warheads & 2 Presidents Here!

April 27, 2024 12:02 am

Well howdy, dear Santa Clarita saddlepals. Hope I’m not too early. But, just outside, I’ve got several thousand noble steeds all saddled up and ready for our Signal Saturday trail

John Boston

John Boston | Oh Joe! Were ‘Eat Me!!’ but a Euphemism

April 26, 2024 4:18 am

I was touched and saddened to hear the other day that the Deity of Dumbness, the high god of Democrats, Joe Biden, had an uncle eaten by cannibals. I hate that

The Time Ranger

The Time Ranger | When Sinatra Tried to Kill POTUS in Saugus

April 20, 2024 2:24 am

Any of you saddlepals feeling a mite puny due to a wasted Friday night of margaritas, month-old salsa dysentery? Not to worry. We’ve an entire saddlebag full of Tataviam homeopathics

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