Holidays I Can Do Without

By Signal Contributor

Last update: Friday, October 28th, 2016

I am looking at the calendar and trying to figure out how certain days got to be holidays. Some of them I get. Veterans Day, Memorial Day and religious holidays make sense to me. Why is Labor Day a holiday? We are celebrating people working by letting some people have a day off. I never get a day off on Labor Day. As far as I am concerned we can get rid of that one. How about Columbus Day? Why is this a national holiday? I can’t remember, isn’t this day they have sales on bed sheets? Can anyone make sense of this? Let’s get rid of that one too. Some of these so-called holidays are just silly. I will include Ground Hog Day, Arbor Day, and Earth Day in this category. None of them affect me, so they can stay.

Next, we come to President’s Day. I don’t see any reason for this to be a National Holiday. We have had some not so good presidents, so I am getting rid of this one too. Halloween never made sense to me. Sure I liked it as a kid, but that should be the end of it. Now it has become as excuse for adult women to dress like sluts and adult men to dress like adult women who are dressed like sluts. Let’s put an age limit on Halloween. After you are twelve no more Halloween. Next, we have New Year’s Day. Why should this be a National Holiday? I know, to let people sober up from New Year’s Eve. OK, I’ll let that one slide.

Next, we come to “Bank Holidays.” Why should these people get days off? I’m tired of it. I walk into my bank, and it’s not as if I see people working hard. They have one guy standing there asking me if I would like a bottled water. Let’s get rid of him and with money we save stay open on the bank holidays. Election Day is not a Holiday, but for some reason, the bars must stay closed until 5 p.m. on Election Day. This year I think we should make an exception and leave the bars open all day on Election Day. I might need a belt before I pull the lever.

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Holidays I Can Do Without

I am looking at the calendar and trying to figure out how certain days got to be holidays. Some of them I get. Veterans Day, Memorial Day and religious holidays make sense to me. Why is Labor Day a holiday? We are celebrating people working by letting some people have a day off. I never get a day off on Labor Day. As far as I am concerned we can get rid of that one. How about Columbus Day? Why is this a national holiday? I can’t remember, isn’t this day they have sales on bed sheets? Can anyone make sense of this? Let’s get rid of that one too. Some of these so-called holidays are just silly. I will include Ground Hog Day, Arbor Day, and Earth Day in this category. None of them affect me, so they can stay.

Next, we come to President’s Day. I don’t see any reason for this to be a National Holiday. We have had some not so good presidents, so I am getting rid of this one too. Halloween never made sense to me. Sure I liked it as a kid, but that should be the end of it. Now it has become as excuse for adult women to dress like sluts and adult men to dress like adult women who are dressed like sluts. Let’s put an age limit on Halloween. After you are twelve no more Halloween. Next, we have New Year’s Day. Why should this be a National Holiday? I know, to let people sober up from New Year’s Eve. OK, I’ll let that one slide.

Next, we come to “Bank Holidays.” Why should these people get days off? I’m tired of it. I walk into my bank, and it’s not as if I see people working hard. They have one guy standing there asking me if I would like a bottled water. Let’s get rid of him and with money we save stay open on the bank holidays. Election Day is not a Holiday, but for some reason, the bars must stay closed until 5 p.m. on Election Day. This year I think we should make an exception and leave the bars open all day on Election Day. I might need a belt before I pull the lever.

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Signal Contributor

Signal Contributor