Little White Lies


When is it OK to tell a little white lie? Some people will tell you never. Those people must never have had a wife ask them if they look fat in something. There is no good answer when your wife asks you if she looks fat. Nothing you can say will satisfy her. If you say “No honey, you look beautiful to me.”  She will keep after you with more inquiries than a district attorney. “I know you think I’m beautiful, but I have put on weight. Can you notice it?” My advice is to hold your ground no matter how many times she asks you .Even if she gets so big the dog does not recognize her, insist she looks as thin as the day you met her.

What would those holier than thou people say when my sister asks them how they like her vegan casserole? I dare them to say “This tastes like cat litter.” No, you have to be polite, and say “It’s so good, but we had a huge lunch,’ as you wait for her to turn her back so you can feed it to the dog. By the way, now her dog runs away from me every time he sees me.

What do they expect you to say when someone gives you a gift that no one would want. My brother in law once gave me a wooden shoe shine kit. I am sure someone gave it to him. Do I say what I think? “Who gave that to you, you cheap SOB?” Or do I keep my mouth shut so we can all have a nice Christmas?

Does anyone expect a woman to tell the truth about her age?  My wife’s kids mysteriously get younger every year. Or when the pretty young nurse asks a man if he is taking any medication, should he cheerfully volunteer “Just Viagra for my erectile dysfunction!” I’m not saying that ever happened, I just supposing.

Well I’m not lying when I say that laughter is the best medicine.  It seems every day another friend has some sadness or trauma to go through. It does not take much to make them smile.

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