Being single during Valentine’s Day can be stressful, and many people young or old don’t know what to do.
But Sherri Murphy, CEO and VIP matchmaker at Elite Connections International, says that’s the perfect time to indulge in some vitally needed self-love.
What does that look like? Activities that put a focus on having fun and learning about yourself, rather than things that may trigger any feelings about being single and craving a partner.
Elite Connections is a Los Angeles-based company devoted to helping people find their soulmates, Murphy said, but what if you can’t do that in time for Valentine’s Day?
Attending one party after another alone isn’t that fun, but Murphy said that sometimes, intimacy can be found through friendships during this time.
“Lean on your friends,” she said. “They’re an important part of your life, and Valentine’s Day can be a time to focus on all the love you already have in your life.”
Murphy also suggests to get out on Valentine’s Day and do a fun activity, such as swing dancing lessons or going to a cooking class.
These community-based activities with other single people can make one feel abundance on a holiday typically reserved for couples.
Making sure to steer clear of establishments that may make you feel jealous or resentful is important, she said.
Often, parties at clubs on Valentine’s Day may be “danger zones,” where people feel inclined to look for a romantic or sexual encounter. On that specific day, it can make the sting of being single on that day hurt more, so Murphy suggests steering away.
“Being pessimistic is a surefire sign that you won’t find someone,” she said. “And that can make you feel more pessimistic.”
Skip the singles Valentine’s Day parties. Instead, movie marathons with your friends, going on a shopping spree, doing a Secret Valentine’s exchange, pampering yourself at a spa, watching a comedy special or even taking a trip out of town are all ways to stay busy or distracted.
Making sure to not trigger yourself about thinking about your single status can be hard. But even trying to critically reflect on what you want in a partner can be a fun exercise for Valentine’s Day.
Whatever you do, moping is not the answer. Instead, focusing on self-empowerment is, Murphy said.
“It can be easy to wish you had a partner especially on this holiday,” she said. “But this is a great time to remind yourself of why you should feel awesome, and that will ultimately make your focus shift so you know who you are and how to eventually spot the right person to fulfill that.”