With so much talk of voter fraud in a Joe Biden victory, we should consider bringing back Special Counsel Robert Mueller to investigate. He’s reportedly above reproach and it’s the least we can do to address the Democrats’ passionate concern of protecting our American democracy. Evidence or not, we need to make sure, right?
First, we’ll need to pressure Biden’s newly appointed attorney general to recuse himself so he’s out of the way. We will also need to pay millions for someone to create a fake document that could be used as evidence to secure a series of FISA warrants. Of course, we’ll need a totally corrupt FBI director to help pull this off.
To handle the investigation of Biden’s alleged voter fraud, Mueller should pick only Republicans and Trump supporters for his team. And we’ll give them unlimited time and an unlimited budget to find evidence of voter fraud. But while they’re at it, these Republicans can investigate every area of Biden’s life in search of a crime.
Ideally, we’d want to drag this out for at least two years. Certainly, beyond the 2022 elections. And during that time the media can report every day that Biden is under investigation for voter fraud. We could even have high-ranking members of the Trump administration repeatedly go on all the news shows and talk about the overwhelming evidence against Biden. TIME and other magazines can run covers of uncomplimentary photos of Biden with salacious captions about voter fraud.
This will not only be a constant distraction to keep Biden from governing, but it will also create the constant illusion of corruption regardless of the evidence. It’s perfect. And no matter the outcome, just the perception of wrongdoing will have been enough to accomplish our mission to drag down the new president and divide the nation.
But wait a minute. This is obviously a wicked and hideous plot. Politicians wouldn’t be that evil to do it, the media wouldn’t be that corrupt to report it, and the American people wouldn’t be that stupid to believe it… would they?