After COVID plagued the world, virologists warned the next pandemic could be right around the corner. They were right. Only this time there are no so-called mysteries about the origins of this insidious disease. We know for certain that it started to infect half of the U.S. population on November 5, 2024, the night Donald J. Trump was elected president for the second time. The new disease is called Trump Derangement Syndrome, or TDS. Some facts to keep you informed:
1. TDS only affects Democrats. The further to the left, the greater the severity of the disease. For example, AOC and the Squad, Bernie Sanders, Hakeem Jeffries, Elizabeth Warren and others of their persuasion have terminal TDS. They are doomed to carry TDS with them the rest of their lives.
2. There are known cases of recovery from TDS. John Fetterman, through the use of common sense and the ability to distinguish fact from fiction, is well on his way to recovery from TDS. Who would have thought?
3. What are the symptoms of TDS? Loss of common sense. An otherworldly and undeserved hatred of everything Trump. A complete loss of good judgment. Abuse of the English language (using terms like oligarch and dictator in absurd and insane contexts). An uncontrollable urge to swear. A propensity to babble on for hours about nothing. A wretched hatred of America and American traditions. A fondness for criminals. An extreme aversion to our police and military. A distaste for country music, NASCAR, and UFC. An ongoing desire to spend other people’s money. This is just a partial list. The disease is dynamic and gets worse every time President Trump scores another victory. In recent weeks, the disease has gotten much worse.
4. How can you spot a person suffering from TDS? They don’t smile. They watch CNN and MSDNC and believe what they hear. They think Fox News is for far-right racists. They don’t say, “Yes, sir,” “Yes ma’am,” or “Howdy, ya’all.” They appear to be dejected, downtrodden, and miserable. These are not happy people.
5. How long will TDS be with us? President Trump’s second term will sadly end in November of 2028. Just like “long COVID,” the symptoms of TDS, for some, will last years into the future. Some virologists predict the next pandemic will strike on the above date. It will be called JDVDS or J.D. Vance Derangement Syndrome.
Larry Moore
Valencia
