“Will you marry me?” The words that propose a lifetime of commitment together, usually with a ring to signify love.
“The most important thing to know before you decide to marry someone is if they take responsibility for own faults and they have a growth mentality,” said relationship coach Jessica Hartley. “If they can do those two things, everything else is icing on the cake.”
Once you know you are ready to marry the woman you love, you want your proposal to be memorable, no matter where you decide to pop the question.
“They are putting their vulnerable side up, during the proposal,” said Ellen Bradley-Windell LCSW, co-founder and clinical director of Valencia Relationship Institute. “They are pledging to spend their rest of your lives together.”
You have the ring, you’ve asked her parents, but now to decide how to propose and where to do it.
Pick a destination that is meaningful to both of you, Windell said. “Know your girlfriend’s personality. Personalize it so she will be the most treasured during this very intimate moment.”
You want the moment to be all about your relationship. To take you down memory lane and remind you why you want to spend the rest of your lives with one another.
- Go back to the place you first met, first said “I love you,” had your first date or your favorite date spot.
Maybe you already live together or you’re about to move in together.
- Propose in your new place or the place you call home. Bring her breakfast in bed and propose in the morning or make a homemade meal and propose at lunch or dinner. Keeping it intimate in your own home for a special moment in your love story.
Has she been dreaming about her wedding day her whole life and have you discussed it?
- Take her to her dream wedding venue and propose where you might tie the knot.
Does she love to be in front of the camera and capture every memory?
- Book a photoshoot with a photographer to get couple photos and catch it all on camera. If you choose this, make sure to make a plan with the photographer, so they are ready to capture the special moment.
Travel together whether it be a day trip, weekend trip or a week out of the country.
A few beautiful places in California include:
- Big Sur
- Lake Tahoe
- Anywhere in wine country
- Griffith Observatory
Depending on what you like to do, take her to the coast near the beach or the mountains for a hike.
Travel across the United States and propose in a different state. Or propose on a trip to a country you have been planning to visit together.
Go Big or Go Home
Do you both love sports or exercising? Take a swing and propose in a sporty way:
- Grab a golf ball, tennisball, football, baseball or any sports equipment and write “Will you marry me?” Asking her to during a fun game with friends or a friendly competition between you two.
Do you run races, a 5k, 10k or half or full marathon? Or does she?
- Propose to her at the finish line.
- Another popular option on the big screen at a sporting event.
Get others involved
Get friends, family or even strangers involved with a party, scavenger hunt or flash mob.
- Send her searching, make up a scavenger hunt and have her go down memory lane. Have her meet you and have a friend film the entire thing.
- Plan a flash mob in the middle of a park or mall. It will be something she will never forget.
There are so many ways and places to propose to your soulmate, whether you keep it intimate somewhere alone or include the entire family.
Maybe a photographer is hidden capturing every moment and her reaction.
Personalize the proposal and be authentic and genuine, Windell said.
A few tips when thinking about what to say during the proposal are:
-Pick her best qualities and tell you how much you love them;
-Tell her how she’s affected your life for the better;
-Share what you are looking forward to in the future;
-Offer some historical perspective of your courtship together;
-Let her know when you knew she was the one;
– of course include, “Will you marry me?”
“What a marriage can do for a person is provide a vessel for personal growth,” Hartley said. “Growth needs the commitment. In a committed relationship, when challenges come, you don’t have an easy out. It makes you focus and determined to work out problems and not run away from them.”