John Boston | Why Democrats Are Like JDs on ‘Scared Straight…’

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Confession? Here goes. Sometimes, I watch “Scared Straight” reruns. Originally, SS was a 1978 Oscar-winning documentary, narrated by Peter Falk. Since then, it’s metastasized into various cheesy and terribly satisfying That’ll Fix Your Hot Rod Teenage Attitude spin-offs.  

The premise is simple. Sobbing parents haul the troubled fruit of their loins to the pokey. Law enforcement officials, all of Sasquatchian proportions, dress said misunderstood teens in festive Halloween Hamburglar costumes, then spend the rest of the day, via their outside voices, offering directions to The Path Not Taken. The Youth Misunderstood & Sullen are then paraded before an entourage of tatted-up rapists, murderers and a hoodlum potpourri. 

“Scared Straight” is spent with the convicts, in a delightfully threatening manner, asking non-rhetorical questions. Like: 

“How’d you like to be my prom date except we’ll skip the prom part?” Or: 

“What are your religious objections to giving a grown man a pedicure?” Or: 

“Do you smoke after sex? Well. You’re gonna…” 

Me? As a teen, I’d respond with: “I don’t like you in that kind of way” followed by, “Show me the way to the nearest Boys & Girls Club so that I may volunteer…” 

Troubled teens, a synonym for Democrats, aren’t blessed with that additional brain cell to do the math. If you don’t change your behavior, perdition awaits. 

Some inmates display compassion. Older now, they share their experiences of taking a life — their own. Simple things? Playing ball with your kids? Making a Taco Bell run? A walk on a sunny beach? Gone forever. Some, still young, reflect they’ll die behind bars. There’s a disquieting earnestness to their plea: It’s not too late — don’t waste your life — don’t be stupid like me. Some delinquents tearfully vow they’ll change. I surely root for those rare few who do. 

I’m always astounded at the cocky third, who stick out their 12-inch concave chests and bait the beast. There’s always some JV hoodlum whose voice is changing announcing how he’s going to kick the methamphetamines out of Giant Mike Tyson from Cellblock B.  

There’s always that kid blessed with extra self-esteem. They actually think they’re already king or queen of the yard. Some quarter-ton gladiator’s eyes are bulging as he’s bending bars, trying to get at the jugular of the demitasse-sized junior hoodlum mocking him, just for the primal pleasure of wiping that smug, condescending, self-righteous smile off their face, long after there’s no longer a face. It’s a very special kind of rage. 

Humanity. With it comes a Brahms or a Michelangelo or the skinny gang-banger with the twin mental leprosy of stupid and stubborn. 

Recent polls note Joe Biden’s popularity and competence are, to use the media’s word — “tanking.” Conservative pundits are giddy that Joe’s approval ratings are in the range of Thrown Out Of A Plane At 60,000 Feet Wearing Nothing But A Jockstrap And Dazed Smile.  

A vital, possibly civilization-ending point is being missed. 

If this recent 38% approval rating is true, then, roughly 70 million voters think the worst president in history is doing a stellar job. That’s like being stuck in a lion cage with the assurance that 6-out-of-10 felines may not eat you. 

America. We have a problem. And it ain’t climate change. 

I was thinking the other day. Progressives are like the young hoodlums on “Scared Straight.” Go ahead. Trying pointing out bothersome little things to them. Like: 

• Gas, food, furniture, electronics, appliances, cars, mail, utilities, weddings, clothes and bubble gum prices are skyrocketing; 

• Biden’s Afghanistan debacle would have to climb 1,000 years just to reach stupid; 

• Unchecked waves of illegal aliens pour into America because of a criminally inept and immoral Democratic Party; 

• Vice President Kamala Harris is more incompetent than Joe; 

• The JFK Democrats, heck, the Clinton and the Obama Democrats, are extinct, replaced by a continent-wide list of progressives so insane and inept as to rival a Monty Python skit; 

• Crime — ALWAYS in liberal sanctuaries, is the Democrats’ New Normal; 

• The Democratic Party’s answer? Obliterate the police; 

• The FBI is now the political weapon of liberals and has been directed to go after parents who dare complain about local school boards implementing teaching of racism, hate, victimhood and perversion. 

This needs to be a column with hinges. Daily — cripes, DAILY — there’s some — and some days several — new, imbecilic stunt the Democratic Party has pulled. You have a guy running for Virginia governor publicly touting that government — NOT PARENTS — should have the final say in raising America’s children. And he’s in a frigging dead-heat race.  

On. And on. And on. And on. And on. 

Socialism? It would be a godsend compared to what the liberals are implementing. Their daily behavior is turning America into both an Orwellian, totalitarian state AND a kleptocracy. Thieves rarely are reflective. They steal. Unstopped, they steal more. 

Is there ever an admission of even the possibility liberals made a mistake? No. You get a vomiting of “yeah-buts” and “whadda-bouts.” You get that Scared Straight/Democratic Party smug smile. The condescending grin. Currently, the Democratic Party is your worst-case scenario teenage jackass attitude. Worse? The juvenile delinquent is not demanding the keys to all the cars, all the money in the bank, all the paychecks and to be the high holy arbiter of what you may say or think. The progressive teen felons in high office? They already have it all. 

I had a friend. Very liberal. We had a discussion and, like most conversations with the left, it ended with her imploding in self-righteousness. Her final words — delivered in a scream? “I don’t care if you have all the facts AND you’re 100% right!! I’ll NEVER BELIEVE YOU!!”  

Scary thing? She was a teacher.  

We have a problem. It’s 38%. 

That’s not a plunge. Even if the sane somehow manage to take back the House and Senate in 2022, the phantasmagorical and juvenile delinquent mindset of the left?  

It’s not going away. 

John Boston is a local writer.

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