I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control, and I think I like it
I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it
And I know, I know, I know, I know
I know I want you
— “I’m So Excited,” The Pointer Sisters
Valencia got served a big bowl of mass delusion a few weeks back. Fifty or more fully Trump-flagged-up pickup trucks marauded back around the mall, snarling traffic, and generally making a loud public nuisance. You’ve seen these cringeworthy things: Jacked-up pickups, usually with super-loud exhausts, flying giant American flags on one side and Trump 2024 flags on the other. These truckers must feel they’re real suburban Raul Reveres, rambling through traffic, honking horns, bleating, “Look at me, look at me!”
Or maybe they’re just so excited, and want us to know, to know, to know — they want, want, want Donald Trump! They’re about to “lose control, and they just can’t hide it.” Obviously, they’ve lost control …
I’m embarrassed by these Tonka-troopers. Do they understand what they’re communicating? How dumb it looks? Is this all just “good American fun” or is this an artifact of personality cult thinking, tipping hats to a darker side? The “in your face” macho-bro posturing is a feature, not a bug, you know.
It’s well-known that Donald Trump sucks up the praise of submissive followers like a Hoover. Self-conscripted Trump warriors flying Trump flags on a monster truck is a public confession of Trump submission like few others. It’s a public confession of Trump-truckers’ complete fealty to Trump. Whatever the personal motivation behind these public submissionists, flying Trump truck flags reveals more about devotion to a personality cult than political enthusiasm. Even at Ronald Reagan’s peak of power, no one drove pickups with Ron’s face flapping in the wind. These Trump truckers are a different breed than prior political fanboys.
These Trump-truckers love themselves a whole lot of Trump …
But is this more a desire to intimidate than a fun-loving display of Trump infatuation? Get those giant flags a-waving, horns a-honking – and put on a real show of “I’m mean in my big machine … look at me!” Do these guys think they’re “auditioning” for self-appointed muscle behind Trump for the next election challenge?
In professional sports we don’t see such flag-waving in for even the most super of superstars. Maybe Laker or Dodger pennants perched on windows, supporting teams during playoff season. But there’s no Shohei Ohtani flags flying on pickups. No huge purple LeBron James flags. No, you don’t see these things, because fans are … well, fans, not personality cult devotees.
The convict-politician flag flying is just “weird,” as Tim Walz would say. In America, prior to Trump we didn’t witness such extreme levels of personal capitulation to a Dear Leader … (Consider how Kim Jung Un demands his image be displayed … everywhere.)
I have yet to see one truck clogging our streets flying Cameron Smyth or Jason Gibbs flags. Not one Gibbs flag. Gibbs should feel under-loved at the comparison! Here’s a guy so popular he doesn’t need to run for re-election, he just gets picked. And still, Gibbs’ fans are silent – there’s no Gibbs flags.
Gibbs quips that when he sticks his own personal “Gibbs flag” onto his Segway, his wife pulls it back down and brings him back to Earth. Gibbs only wants your vote, not your soul. You can keep your soul and still support Gibbs. You can keep your self-respect and still support Smyth. Rational, sane politicians don’t want their faces on flying on monster trucks and they certainly don’t want your worship …
So, what’s with Trump truckers, parading like mean kids with their Tonka toys on never-ending Flag Days?
It passes the public Trump Purity Test. It cries in confession of support of Dear Leader. With Trump, you’re either all-in or out, and few things signal “in” to the Trump cult as Trump’s face flowing in the wind on your monster truck. “Look at me! I’m a Trump-controlled truck-bot!”
This is silly. Americans are smarter. You might support Trump’s “platform” – but you can do it without joining the cult. You can do it without evoking symbolisms popularized by prior fascist cults. The Trump truck flag thing is weird and annoying, and, ultimately, stupid, and dangerous.
As Bob Newhart so humorously said, “Stop it!”
“Just, stop it!”
Gary Horton’s “Full Speed to Port!” has appeared in The Signal since 2006. The opinions expressed in his column do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Signal or its editorial board.
