Thomas Oatway | Challenge Accepted: Biden’s Flaws

Letters to the Editor
Letters to the Editor

I was challenged by a Republican friend (he will go unnamed). He reads my letters in The Signal’s opinion section. He asked me to write a letter that enumerates some negative things about President Joe Biden, if there are any. 

In the interest of fairness, since I have been known to point out the failures of Donald Trump, here goes: 

My first thought was that Joe Biden is not a golfer, unlike most of my friends. This could be a serious character defect. Golfers learn to be painfully honest, follow the Rules (of Golf), and avoid cheating. We all know that all golfers NEVER cheat.  

Biden has no close friends who are intimately familiar with the criminal justice system (except Hunter). How will he ever learn about Law and Order? 

Biden is a lousy businessman. He has no buildings named after him. He never learned how to enter into, or escape from, bankruptcy. 

Biden has not had any salacious encounters with porn stars. He has been known to sniff women’s hair. And get a little “handsy.” He is definitely not a party guy. 

Biden sometimes stutters. He has skinny legs, and is a bit wobbly at times. He has even been known to take a fall upon entering or exiting Air Force One.  

Biden is pretty old (81 … same as me). He is not a sharp as he once was. Who is? He makes verbal mistakes, especially when going off the teleprompter. 

For example, he once referred to migrants as “illegal aliens.” 

He forgets important details, like the date of his son’s death. He may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, like when he mixed up the presidents of Mexico and Egypt. He has thinning hair, and never mastered the “comb over,” which is so important to good grooming. 

Biden, like Trump and Mike Pence, took home some classified documents. He forgot he had them, and neglected to hide them. He had to give them back.  

Then there is this one unforgiveable flaw: Biden is a failure as a dog trainer, and an irresponsible dog owner. He should have trained Commander not to bite Secret Service agents. Commander was banished to Delaware. Poor dog. 

Most of these flaws can be forgiven if you consider the alternative. 

Thomas Oatway 


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