By David Hegg
If you see our society as I do, you’re aware of a drastic erosion in the laudable virtue of patience. While we expect and demand that others be patient with us, we too often fail to extend this virtue to others. This is especially true when faced with those who see things differently, adhere to an opposing ideology, or generally pursue life at a different pace. Â
On the personal level, for example, those who are happily married have learned the value of patience. In this case, it means knowing when to let things go, when not to respond, when to hold your tongue, and when to think carefully before speaking your mind. It also means realizing that not everything needs to become an issue. And yet, patience does not rule out action when the situation demands it.
When life creates challenges that must be met, the best solutions begin by making sure you have all the pertinent information. Then, with great patience, critical thinkers ponder the possible responses and choose the one with the best promise of success and the fewest unintended consequences. Those who succeed in life have figured it out. Patience allows for critical analysis and problem-solving.
But, the same cannot be said for many of our societal issues. What we see in our national political discourse is too often a shouting match rather than patient, careful analysis that accepts what is valid and useful while suggesting a better path to what is opposed. We desperately need patient minds that can block out screaming and pursue solutions that are the product of critical thinking.
Whoever coined the phrase “patience is a virtue” was on to something. Tradition attributes it to Cato the Elder in the 3rd or 4th century. His treatise, “The Distichs of Cato,” was considered the best Latin textbook of the Middle Ages and an essential source of moral education.
I can only wonder how Cato would react to the fiery responses that have flipped the script and made impatience an acceptable means of public discourse. Ready, fire, aim comes to mind. And that is an apt illustration of what we’re experiencing, both on the national and community levels.
So, why was patience once considered an essential, functional and robust virtue? The answer is clear if we take a beat and think about it. Patience is the ability to restrain presumption-driven reactions and ensure all essential information has been gathered, pondered and used to shape the most beneficial response. Simply put, patience is a necessary foundation for critical thinking and creative problem solving.
A high capacity to remain calm and clear-headed is mandatory for critical analysis. On the other hand, flashpoint responses to the cacophony of screaming voices around us short-circuit our ability to sift out what is verifiable, reasonable and accurate. Yet today, we are increasingly watching the knee-jerk spewing of vitriol by many who have jettisoned critical analysis and problem-solving for supposed political gain.
We need a return to patient self-restraint and a readiness to learn from those with whom we disagree. This doesn’t mean we deconstruct our ideological framework or pretend to “go along to get along.” It means we grow up and stop acting like petulant children who scream, cry and throw tantrums in an effort to gain attention.
If we’re honest, we live at a time when impatience is seen as a virtue. Those who are the quickest to critique everything and correct everyone are gaining the ascendancy. We’ve become a society that is addicted to what some have labeled “failure porn.” Are we so lacking in personal purpose and meaning that we find the failures of others exciting and life-giving? Say it ain’t so, Joe!
As the famous author Anonymous said, “Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but you choose to understand.” May tomorrow find us more understanding, sympathetic and patient.
Local resident David Hegg is senior pastor of Grace Baptist Church. “Ethically Speaking” appears Sundays.
