Come on, fellow readers. Let’s listen instead of talk, let’s try to understand instead of rebutting or wanting to convince … We all have our favorite columnists and opinion-writers, and we all hate to read opinions from “the other side.” Get out of that habit.
Here is how you do it. You start from the premise that everyone willing and capable of writing an opinion means well for this world. They may have different angles, different priorities from you. Still, what they want is to improve our lives. You want that too.
We, opinion writers, have that in common. See, you’re already on the same wavelength, and that’s before you’ve even listened properly to what “the other side” has to say. How great a feeling is that!
So when you see the headlines of an “opponent’s” exposé, don’t decide “I’m not going to read that!” Read it, but don’t look for the faults in the reasoning being offered. Instead, try to understand why the article was written. What could have been the author’s motivation?
I bet, with a minimum of reconciliatory feeling on your part, you might find some common ground, in the underlying issue being addressed, in the solution(s) being suggested. Something like, “Ah, I see what she’s trying to say, but perhaps a little optimistic, perhaps going too fast, perhaps somewhat naïve … Or, if I could have talked to him before he wrote this piece he might have phrased it this or that way (meaning: my way).”
See, you’re not that far apart. Just going at the problem in a different way: with less or more tooters and bells, with more caution to prevent fraud or with greater generosity to make sure all in need have access.
Try that for a couple of months, deliberately, and maybe you could even start a conversation with someone from the other side. Because I’m sure you agree, what we’ve got going at the present, deadly silence between friends next to a shrieking social media, that’s just not a sustainable way for our society.
Imagine that, chatting about a better future, let your friend/acquaintance know what weighs you down, while listening and learning.
Patrick Daems
Stevenson Ranch
