John Boston | Recall & Revenge: Out with Newsom & In With Elder…

John Boston

I’ve read a lot of spiritual texts in my time. Biblical passages. Zen koans. Wisdom from the Torah. The readings of saints, seers, holy men, poets and, of course, Calvin & Hobbes. I feel guilty confessing this publicly, but one of the teachings that still brings a smile to my heart is when Conan (The Barbarian?) was asked by his Mongol warlord: “What is best in life?” 

Without hesitation, Conan/Arnold Schwarzenegger answered: “To crush your enemies — See them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!” 

Actually, it was Genghis Khan who was credited with that particular version of the meaning of life. 

Alas, unless you’re some braindead Taliban puddle of chimpanzee irregularity, it’s often hard to find opportunity to express yourself in such a liberating, civilization-ending fashion. 

Unless you’re on the SJW White House staff. 

Lordy. Do Democrats love tipping over other people’s things and setting them on fire, just for the arsonist’s giggles. 

About the closest thing we Common Joes & Janes have to crushing our enemies and driving them before us is The Recall Election. We’ve a bunch ahead. 

I’m wishing there’ll be a bunch more, complete with screams and lamentations. 

We’re recalling the insufferable Gavin “Gruesome” Newsom (D for Dumbbell), the governor in the white silk stockings, powdered wig, jeweled snuff box and pretentious walking stick. The sissy nephew of San Francisco’s wicked queen, Nancy Pelosi (the one who poisoned Snow White?), has been Bidenesque long before our craven, child-scaring president Joe the Groper made it de rigueur. If there’s an imbecilic, Rube Goldberg self-destructing idea, Newsom and his minions are behind making it law. It seems the test of anything that comes out of Newsom’s Sacramento is to ask: “But does it make people miserable?” 

Destroying the environment (while screaming they’re pro-Earth), drug addiction, poopy-rich sidewalks and homelessness are at the top of Newsom’s resume. Add an overly racist public education system in freefall, the highest prices of just about everything, being fawningly pro-crime, anti-business, anti-family, a Biden-like imbecilic approach to problem-solving, corruption and 12,006 other qualities all ending in “You IDIOT!!!” you’ve got a governor in Gavin Newsom more bumbling cartoon character than man. 

If you haven’t sent your ballot out, vote RECALL Newsom. 

I’d suggest that you pencil in, “Then jump up and down on him, several times, whilst atop a fine and heavy draft horse,” but you’d be labeled as “a hater” and your ballot, and you, would disappear faster than English Lit 101 from Berkeley frosh studies. 

Vote in Larry Elder. 

Gosh. I HATE endorsing Elder. I like the guy. The radio talk show host is beyond genius at quickly getting to problems and how to fix them. Honest. Creative. He loves this darn state. He won’t be another GOP grass-grazing tedious time card puncher who spends his time touring yogurt shop grand openings with his hands behind his back going, “Hm. Mm-hmmmm…” I think he’ll begin tossing countless bozos and mooncalves from Sacramento, depositing them into the San Andreas Fault, and make California — gasp — a nice place to live in again. 

I just hate, hate, hate — hate — the thought of putting any decent human being in the governor’s chair because they’re going to have to live in the same cage with all those crooks, mountebanks and booger-eating teachers’ union cretins who currently soil our metaphorical blanket on the beach. 

Elder. You get yourself elected. When the liberal rabble, screamers, donkey girl scouts, crooks, perverts and alleged philosophy professors get you down, let me know. I’ll pass the hat around Santa Clarita and we’ll overnight you a CARE package, filled with tick & flea spray, earplugs, a 976-ounce jar of hand sanitizer and a few million baby monitors for the bureaucrats — batteries, of course, not included. 

After we get His Sissyness Newsom booted, there’s that absolute dollop of Reconstituted Prison Mystery Meat, L.A. District Attorney George Gascón, to 86. 

What’s happened to us? 

Is there some sort of liberal frosh college fraternity running America right now, giggling and clutching their privates, trying to out-prank one another? Is this the big Spring Break Prize to see who can destroy their corner of the country the fastest? Gascón, the D.A. who is pro-crime, pro-criminal. Excuse me, George. Isn’t your track record completely backwards to the job description? Are you spending your entire and hopefully shortened term filming some secret Punked movie? 

Somehow, the People’s’ Republic of New York managed to finally get enough oxygen to their brains to force their governor, perv, crook and bully, Andrew Cuomo, out of office. It still boggles my mind how just planet-endingly stupid people are. After all his sins, including being responsible for the deaths of thousands of elderly in his mishandling of the COVID-19 virus — by actively wheeling in people coughing up lungs to assisted living facilities in New York — the guy STILL had a 38% approval rating. Biden? The complete and evil imbecile? Last I checked, HE’S got 41% of the country who thinks he’s doing a great job. 

I’d be surprised if Joe Biden lasts six months. And the horse-laughing veep Kamala Harris two weeks after that. Mark my words. Afghanistan won’t be the worst of the daft president’s unbelievably stupid screw-ups. 

I’ve a suspicion.  

This Great Awakening is just starting. Perhaps finally, like the Prodigal Son, America will rise from its living nightmare and realize who they are and that they’ve been sleeping with the swine. Across the country, this movement is already spilling over at all levels of government, from federal, to state to local. 

Who knows. Perhaps shortly, a local movement will build to recall or vote out four of the five governing board of the woke William S. Hart Union High School District  — Linda Storli, Bob Jensen, Cherise Moore and James Webb. Talk about Critical Race Theory in action. 

Gosh. Guys. Geez. Darn it. 

You poor four.  


Sorry you had to end up hearing about it like this… 

John Boston is a long-time local award-winning columnist.

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