Years ago when my wife and I were blessed to start having kids, I called a friend in car insurance for some advice. I wanted guidance for choosing the safest vehicle for my wife and two baby girls. He quickly said, “An SUV. The bigger, the better!”
I responded, “But according to the research they’re not!”
He replied, “Not for the people they hit, or who run into them, but SUV’s are the safest for those inside them!” He continued, “It’s physics! The heavier and more powerful the vehicle is more likely, than not, to fare best in an accident! It’s physics!”
It’s interesting today how often the obvious is not always obvious. Two decades later, now blessed with six daughters and a son, I was recently reminded of the reality of physics. My wife had just returned from shopping with one of our daughters, our son, and one of his buddies. She passionately declared, “I know why God gave me six girls and not six boys!”
She explained that, while she was perusing the frozen-food section with our 19-year-old-daughter, my son (14 years, 5-foot-11, 170 pounds) came speeding around the corner in a grocery cart, being pushed by his bigger friend. The cart tipped sideways, almost slamming into a glass display case, before my son’s friend steadied the cart and disappeared down the aisle as quickly as they had appeared. It caused my wife to contemplate what life would be like, with six boys … rather than girls! She also acknowledged that she is no longer physically equipped to confront our son when need be, with anything but her words!
The strength and size, combined with the explosive and impulsive energy that is a growing boy is so different than with our girls. Hearing my wife, I could not help but think about my friend years ago, “It’s physics!” How just like the physics of a car’s shape, size and power are realities to be greatly discerned, the physics of boys even more so.
A large and powerful automobile must be properly maintained and driven with great care. When the brakes or tires fail on a Chevy Suburban, the impact potential is infinitely more concerning than that of a Toyota Prius. Likewise, should a driver fail to brake, or turn a Suburban at the right moment, the damage will far exceed that of a carelessly driven Prius. And arguably most people will not bother to deny this truth. But not so with the physics of boys.
In 2016, I heard an “expert” from Penn State (since to become infamous for their women’s swim team) delivering a speech, define “equity” as “sameness.” While most agree that treating all people the same is something to always strive for, declaring all people to “be the same” is dangerous. The sudden testosterone-fueled growth, energy, strength and compulsions that are unique to the majority of boys is best harnessed with the help of mature men. Because men were once boys. Functional, productive men were once boys who successfully navigated and negotiated the realities and challenges boys physically and psychologically go through as they transition into men. In an ideal world, men who raise boys are known as fathers.
Tragically today, many boys, and in some communities most boys, are raised without fathers, or any male role models. The result is a steady growing number of lost and confused boys who become like uncared-for, out-of-control SUV’s with no ability to control, or slow down their urges, or brake before it’s too late. And when the natural order of things is absent, the result is disorder.
America’s prisons, colleges and homelessness testify to this truth. According to the Federal Bureau of Prisons, as of May 3, 2025, men make up 93.5% of those incarcerated in America. According to College Enrollment Trends and Statistics, 2024-2025, from bestcolleges.com, women make up 60% of college enrollment in America. And according to www.statista.com, in 2023, males made up 68.4% of the homeless population in the United States. Not only are the physics of boys undeniable, but so is the math. And the math — which is not equitable — should have all of America very concerned. Especially women.
The Wall Street Journal published a horrifyingly sobering article March 21 titled, “American Women are Giving Up on Marriage.” Central to it is the reality that for today’s growing number of successful women, the challenges of finding a romantic partner have been made more complicated by a growing divide in education and career prospects between men and women; because women are doing comparatively well when it comes to education and their early years in the labor force, and men are doing comparatively badly, which creates a mismatch. People prefer to date in terms of comparable education or income. And most women do not want to date down.
If America continues to deny the physics of boys, and men do not step up and help boys become men, prisons will continue to overflow with men, and the enrollment of men in college will continue to plummet, and the number of boys and young men wandering the streets will continue to grow. And … we’ll all suffer. Particularly the fast-growing population of accomplished women in America who at some point “might” desire equitable male companionship.
Duane Smith
Agua Dulce
