What with the death of Bill Hart, the most bizarre traffic stop in history, Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis visiting here, and an entire passel of ¡¡¡No me lo puedo creer!!! (“You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!!!”) stories, we have one of the most amazing Time Ranger adventures — EVER — starting first bend ahead.
WAY, WAY BACK WHEN
EARLY SCV GRAFT — One thing about most mucky-mucks from the 19th century. They knew how to build empires and grease one another’s palms. On June 24, 1865, Gen. Edward Fitzgerald Beale and his pal, Gen. Andres Pico (Pico Canyon), formed the San Fernando Petroleum Mining District. It was a county-sanctioned office that basically put the two men in charge of mining claim disputes. Frequently, the pair would take the claims involved and hold them in sort of an escrow account until they could, ahem, study the matter. Frequently, when the miners (who were a roaming lot to begin with) moved on, Beale and Pico would sometimes buy their gold mines or oil leases for a pittance. Nice work if you can get it.
ASK NOT, FOR WHOM THE ROAD TOLLS — In 1850, the brand new state of California enacted the Plank and Turnpike Road Act. That meant that a private company could condemn someone else’s property and construct a road through it, as long as the road didn’t come within 50 feet of a building. By 1878, there were 68 of these private companies operating toll roads in these state. One of them was owned by Gen. Edward Fitzgerald Beale. It’s still in town today and called Beale’s Cut. There were some aspects to the law to try to protect both road owner and the public. A toll keeper couldn’t charge unjust fees. But travelers could be fined $5 for walking around a toll gate. At our own toll house at Beale’s Cut, most of the tolls were paid out in gold dust. As late as 1954, a Mrs. MacAlonan, whose first husband Tom Dunn ran that toll house, still had the gold scales used to measure the dust and nuggets. That old white-washed adobe toll house, up the road from present-day Eternal Valley, had five rooms and a shaded porch. It had a weighted toll gate that had come from another toll road up Soledad Canyon.
JUNE 27, 1926
SOME MIGHT SAY IT’S IRONY — This was one of my favorite openings to an obituary: “W.S. Shepard, who came here a few months ago in search of health, died at his home on Lyons Avenue …”
HANG ’EM HIGH — Pat Farren was locked up for cattle rustling. He made off with J.W. Gross’s primo moo cow, Cocoa. The Signal called for the harshest punishment.
OUR AMAZING DR. MURRAY — Dr. Sarah Murray was just one of the most amazing ladies. Besides founding our first emergency hospital and being a rarity as a woman physician, on this date, she successfully patented a rolling hospital “bed-desk and table.”
JUNE 27, 1936
A RUBE GOLDBERG APPROACH TO KEEPING THE SPEED DOWN — Imagine this happening today. On this date, the California Highway Patrol initiated a rather irritating system to slow down speeders racing through the Santa Clarita Valley. The CHiPs set up two roadblocks at the north and south end of the valley, then gave motorists a little slip of paper with the time written on it. If they arrived at the other end of the speed trap before a certain time, they were ticketed. Of course, if one wanted to speed through the valley and kill a few minutes, or just go home, there wasn’t much the officers could do …
YUP. ALMOST JULY. THE RAINY SEASON. — We were hit by some weak thunder and lightning storms — just enough to raise up the humidity and start brush fires. One local woman claimed she wasn’t afraid of a fiery afterlife because it couldn’t be any hotter than in Newhall. Respectful touching of the Stetson brim: Be careful what you ask for, ma’am …
JUNE 23, 1946
LOSING OUR MOST FAMOUS CITIZEN, WILLIAM S. HART —
Yesterday (Friday) in my other persona of Mr. Santa Clarita Valley, I penned a column on the local, national and global significance of Hart. A thousand words wouldn’t shoe-horn easily into the Time Ranger format. Briefly, the amazing American icon and silent screen star died on a Sunday night, 11:30, on this date. He was 81. His contributions in creating an American identity are still being felt around the world today. Pretty much every business in the SCV closed their doors for the day in his honor. When his death was announced at a huge rodeo in Los Angeles, the entire stadium wept.
JUNE 27, 1946
MUMS THE WORD — For no other reason than just putting his name into the public record I should share this with you. Orville Mumaw might have been forced to raise his coffee shop prices. Mr. Mumaw ran the old Crawford Cafe in Castaic. He was charged with causing a massive 3,000-acre fire and burning down several houses. Orville had been warned about burning trash in his open fire pit. There must be some poor Castaic joke that goes along with this, but of the five cabins, stack of new lumber, barns, chicken run and 1 (one) outdoor toilet, Orville Mumaw was liable for only $4,000 in damages.
JUNE 27, 1956
A FATAL EXPLOSION — You old-timers will surely recall those days when Bermite would light up the sky and send sonic waves all across the flat valley. On this date, a powerful explosion rocked the ordnance plant on Soledad Canyon Road, killing three. The workers were filling volatile aluminum flash charges when the small building blew. One of the dead workers had his legs completely blown off. The explosion caused panic at Bermite and several workers ran in various directions. One woman tried climbing the steep hill behind the plant and injured herself falling. Another 14 were treated for injuries from the evacuation.
MARTIN & LEWIS OUT HERE? REALLY? — On this date, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin were in Newhall to kick off their Western, “Pardners,” filmed partially out here. The comedians were the hottest comic duo in America at the time. They hosted a party for 250 members of the Hollywood press at the old Circle J country club, off San Fernando Road. The event also had the world premiere of the film at The American Theater.
YEE AND A DOUBLE OUCH! — Another self-professed pistol fighter visited the SCV to practice his fast draw. Dick Nunnally, 21, of North Hollywood, was attempting to draw, then “fan,” his revolver. Nunnally got the meaty part of his thumb caught under the hammer. It hurt and then some.
JUNE 27, 1966
GOLF. A FULL-CONTACT SPORT. — Crime-wise, it wasn’t much of a week 40 years back. The biggest spree was when two foursomes of golfers got into a club-swinging melee on the 13th hole of the Valencia golf course over an argument of whether one of the foursomes could play through. I can vouch for Randy Wrage NOT being one of the duffers. I think our lovable developer Randy was like, 3, at the time …
HART LEGEND & WHEN HART HAD NO LOCKS — I’ve chatted about “The Good Father,” Hart High’s Cecil Sims. The teacher, one of the original seven at Hart in 1946, celebrated his 20th anniversary. He recalled when he started, how different the valley was then. Example: After school closed in the afternoon, they didn’t even bother to lock up.
SNAKES ALIVE! (WELL; FOR A WHILE) — Little James Hyde found a whopping rattler near his home in Castaic. The 9-year-old killed the black diamondback, which measured 52 inches long. Jim was 55 inches long.
SHERIFF’S SUMMER DUDS — I’ll bet my pals at the local sheriff’s office will smile at this one. On this date, the county approved the first-ever short-sleeved shirt for a uniform. John Einolander was the first deputy to wear one on duty here in Newhall.
JUNE 27, 1976
FORMER CITY MANAGER KEN PULSKAMP HAS IT IN HIS GARAGE — (Kidding, Ken.) Even today, a piece of William S. Hart’s fabled lost treasure will come up for auction. Fifty years ago, locals were asking: “What ever happened to the fabulous cache of Hart’s missing jewels?” When he died in 1946, Hart left most of his estate to Los Angeles County, including a fortune in jewelry. It turned out the county auctioned off the trove, getting a scant $13,764.77. Belt buckles, bolos, rings, watches, necklaces, etc., went to Beverly Hills jeweler Ina Schnoncite, who had no comment on what she did with Hart’s legacy.
WRECKED HIM? DARN NEAR KILLED HIM. — So goes the punchline to an old joke we shan’t mention with cowgirls and cowchildren in our trail ride. I’m not going to mention the guy’s name, but, on this date, a 24-year-old Castaic man was pulled over for: 1) suspicion of drunk driving; 2) causing a multiple-vehicle traffic accident on Interstate 5; 3) drunk and disorderly conduct; 4) possession of a controlled substance; and, 5) resisting arrest.
The wife of the chap pleaded with officers not to take him to jail and confessed that her better half was under the influence of booze, cocaine, codeine, Valium and another pain-killing drug.
She explained that in the due course of exchanging their marital and mutual love for one another, her husband had sustained an — ahem — “object” up where the moon never shines and he was en route to Henry Mayo Newhall Hospital to remove said battery-operated arousal device.
Boy howdy, this gets better.
The husband, who was now violent and hallucinating, further resisted arrest, up until being strapped to a gurney at our local fine emergency ward. Finally, doctors extracted a 3-inch section of plastic and showed it to his spouse.
“That’s not all of it,” said the wife.
The husband was then transferred to county medical where more advanced retrieval equipment was stored. Hate to say this, but this isn’t remotely the first time this kind of story has graced our police and ER files. On the bright side, there have been no reported fatalities for this type of malady.
DIDN’T KNOW THEY SOLD GRENADE SEEDS AT GREEN THUMB — Gladys Fitzgerald thought she hit a rock while gardening in her Pinetree yard. ’Tweren’t. It was an old grenade. Luckily for Mrs. F., it didn’t blow.
JUNE 27, 1986
THOU SHALT NOT PLAY WITH MATCHES —Might be added to the unspoken commandment of, “Thou shalt not overindulge in booze and drugs.” Forty years ago on this date, one of the inmates tried to burn down the Saugus Rehab Center.
A HEART-RENDERING TALE — Found in the shade of a Canyon Country oak tree was a little boy in a wheelchair. The autistic child, who looked to be about 6, was abandoned. He could not walk or talk and spent long periods of time just listening to his wind-up music box. Locals put out a search for his parents.
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY 2-by-4’s — Or so thought a thief. He pilfered $1,200 worth of 92-inch-long studs from a construction site. I just KNOW some of you guys out there are wondering how much $1,200 would buy in 1986 lumber. Answer: two bundles of 600 each.
THE RUBENESQUE PURPLE MOO-MOO BANDITA — Last week, I ended with a little tidbit about an ample woman. Seems a 300-pound-plus lady in a purple moo-moo robbed a Lyons Avenue savings and loan, walked out in broad daylight and escaped without anyone getting so much as a description. Well. Except that she weighed 15% of a ton and was wearing a grape-colored dress the size of theater curtains. Odd thing? She pulled the exact same stunt in Palmdale with the same results. Alas and apologies. I have no info whether she was wearing the same tarp-sized purple moo-moo.
MOO-MOO TWO-TWO — Isn’t that simply the best phrase ever concocted? How sweet it rolls off the tongue. Here. Say it with me, aloud: “… purple moo-moo …” Again. Con gusto: “… purple moo-moo …”
SORRY FOR ALL THE DARN YUPPIES! — I’ll end with a bittersweet anecdote from 40 years back. The Newhall Land & Farming Co. hosted an SCV day for the Regional Planning Commission. NL&F wanted to show the agency their plans for the remaining 30,000 undeveloped acres. In the air-conditioned bus, the entourage went to the high point of Seco Canyon, where the hills were covered with a sea of tile roofs. Commissioner Norma Bard looked at the unbroken stucco vista and asked: “Did we approve that?” The NL&F guide nodded. Yes. “Well,” said Mrs. Bard. “I apologize.”
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A little bit of business: I’ll be giving a lecture, noon, tomorrow (that’s Sunday, June 28) at Rancho Camulos off Highway 126 (about 10 miles west of Interstate 5). Ten-dollar donation, if you’d be so kind, funds go to Camulos. Topic is a hoot — it’s about the monsters, maniacs, ghouls, ghosts, UFO’s, Bigfoot and all the weird and eerie stories in the rich history of our Santa Clarita. Get there a pinch early so you get a good seat and don’t have to hang from the rafters or peek through the windows. Hope to see you saddlepals out there!
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Catch up next weekend back here at The Mighty Signal hitching post with another exciting Time Ranger adventure. Until then? ¡Vayan con Dios, amigos!
Local historian and the world’s most prolific satirist/humorist John Boston has launched his new eclectic bookstore — johnboston-books.com. His hilarious adventure/family/supernatural sequel to the national bestseller, ‘Naked Came the Sasquatch” — “Naked Came the Novelist” — is on sale now. Ditto with his two-volume “Monsters” series about the supernatural in the SCV.
