I was not a cool kid growing up. I kind of looked like a dough-boy, and for some reason walked around pursing my lips like I was going to kiss someone. But everyone wanted to hang out with me because my father was rich and they thought that would help them be rich, too. I was elected student body president because I promised everybody everything. They didn’t know I rarely told the truth. I started a bicycle club and invited all of the cool, smart kids to join – and then I could be the leader of the cool, smart kids. One day this summer I accidentally told the truth and all of the cool, smart kids in my club quit. Not to be outdone by the cool, smart kids, and everyone else who voted for me, I disbanded the club and told every cool, smart kid everywhere that they could no longer be in my club. Thank you. Tony Matthess is a Newhall resident.