Christopher Lucero | A Satirical Memo

Letters to the Editor
Letters to the Editor
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As humor:

[FOUND IN CONFERENCE ROOM AFTER REPUBLICAN STRATEGY MEETING, Washington, D.C.]

Dial In: (redacted)

Notes: Prep for Midterms. 2-23-2022

Quick Bites Topic: Voting processes/procedures legislation and obstructive progress (hehe, “Obstructive Progress”). Easier voting -> higher % general U.S. voter turnout -> Republican loss (worse in midterms).

Analysis: The apathy of general voters for local and non-presidential elections is our only source of advantage, and the reason we are winning local elections – R’s turn out, others have apathy. Through local control, we are able to put bias into the system that favors district maps, for example, or specific election procedures that will bias favorably for R.

Backup plan: IF easier voting passes, we can take advantage of it in exactly the same cheating ways we know Democrats do, even false flagging fraudulent voting by Democrats. Hypothetical operation: voting in inconsequential D’s through fraud. Then proving the fraud since we already know where it was done. Requires a large contingent of willing stooges who will risk doing time for election fraud, in hopes of a pardon (pending successful seizure of presidency).

Today’s Brief: Strata Discussion

We are dealing with strata in our registered base. A discussion of the more important ones follows. Each one is activated by appealing to base emotions, particularly those associated with the depth of vicious satisfaction/dissatisfaction.

There is a stratum that can be incited to action by emotion alone, and need little other reason to defend claims we feed them, no matter how unexamined or speculative. These “Power of Suggestion” (POS) party members act as small-scale repeaters for any/all distractive and meaningless ‘clutter’ or ‘chaff’ that clogs up scientific, technical, any kind of rational debate or examination. Since obstruction is our primary way to achieve assurance of the fulfillment of conservative goals, these POS Republicans are a wall when we need one, or a spike strip in the road when that might be needed. The POS contingent acts to delay, to confound efficiency, to subdue the acceptance of process, and generally can be useful to obstruct. Anger is the activating element.

A second strata are those whose goals are aligned with more sophisticated pursuits, primarily avarice and ego satisfaction. We garner their support/allegiance through regulatory relief, tax exception legislation, special status for government contract approval, and other general forms of favoritism to their positions either based in business or in their political positions. This is the widest stratum and the one we have convinced are the primary benefactors of our “Business policy informal goals” (Business PIGs or B-PIGs). B-PIG political donations, though negligible in actual impact terms, act as a sort of “skin in the game” mark of distinction that satisfies the B-PIG ego and fosters a belief that the contributions will result in their personal favor, as the indulgences that the Catholic Church once sold did for that mendicancy. Commonly B-PIGs will pay $10,000 for a photo with a candidate. Handle as follows: Placate, promise and keep those donations coming.

A third stratum are the “Fully Actualized Individual Tactical Heroes” the FAITH-ful. These act as central believers who can articulate conservative goals in general, but have not achieved adequate status or capability to consistently be relied upon to cause a change in the party’s local impact or influence in their personal orbit. They can be counted upon to show up for rallies, display party flags, advocate subtly or loudly, write letters to the editor or participate in online fora, but are merely optics; evening news photo ops, “tiny media” influence, and the like. The FAITH-ful are reliable and form an almost unvarying assured straight R percentage of the popular vote. (FAITH-ful are useful for local vote but can be harmful in presidential elections when they bring bad publicity through errors and legal miscues.) Some of the FAITH-ful are in danger of becoming “Apostatic Heathens, Once Loyal, Egressing” due to fractious infighting among the many competitive candidates vying for open seats. Our worst fear is a breakaway faction within the party of “Illegitimate Demographic of Independently Organized Trumpists” or IDIOTs. Currently, the DeSantis v. Trump rumbling needs to be addressed strategically to avoid an IDIOT party arising from this faction and reducing our effectiveness in raw votes, assuring a Ross Perot moment.

One last strata to mention are the “Exclusive Legal, International and Tactical Entrepreneurs” (ELITEs) whose high-level activity in financing, espionage, counterespionage and disinformation operations are most critical to our success. For members who belong to this stratum: Congratulations, and thank you!

Next Meeting: 2-28-22

Christopher Lucero

Saugus

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