Liberals are always whining… about everything. In their smug, arrogant tone, they complain, “Conservatives consistently criticize the left without offering any sound solutions.” Well, I am a conservative and I have thought out of the box about a solution/partial solution to the very real and serious crisis at our southern border (are you listening Karine Jean-Pierre?).
First, I would go to Mexico and give every immigrant waiting to violate our sovereign border a Trump 2024 T-shirt and a red MAGA hat. The first glimpse of the red wave crossing the Rio Grande would cause President Joe Biden to proclaim, “Build that damn wall… immediately!” He would send DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas to the border where he would set up loudspeakers and sing the Beatles’ “Get Back” in 13 different languages. Of course, Democrats aren’t interested in becoming Benevolent Buddies to the millions of illegal immigrants who have violated our border during Biden’s watch. Their true thought is, “If we offer them amnesty and unlimited freebies, they and their offspring will vote Democrat in perpetuity.” Nothing more, nothing less.
Even I can see this solution is a bit simplistic. Besides, I’m sure Biden would order the FBI to shut down any factories producing the fascist T-shirts and hats with an executive order, claiming the foul clothing to be Russian disinformation. Therefore, I offer part two of my solution. The United States has two borders and most people don’t think about our border with Canada. You don’t see thousands of Canadians pouring across the 49th parallel looking for a better deal in the U.S. The Canadian border is secure. Democrats say, “Immigrants will make our country stronger. We need more diversity in our country.” My second solution takes these mantras into account.
The last time I checked, on a diversity scale of 1-10, the U.S. is hanging tough with a solid 8-9. Canada, on the other hand, is hovering at an abysmal 2-3. Plus, Canada has vast tracts of unsettled land. I say we should take every other bus of illegal immigrants that we send all over the U.S. and ship them right up Interstate 5 to the Canadian border. When they arrive, each will be given a North Face jacket, a pair of Sorel boots, an English to French dictionary, a copy of “The Dummies Guide to Hockey,” a Tim Horton’s gift card, and a copy of “The Gourmet’s Guide to Poutine.” I’m sure Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who, in reality, is just Gavin Newsom Lite (have you ever seen them in the same room together?), will meet his new “diversity initiative buddies” with open arms.
I can hear all the Bleeding Heart Liberals screaming, “You can’t invade a sovereign nation’s border!”