Step Kids
By Signal Contributor
Monday, September 19th, 2016

I have step kids. Step kids are fun, if you enjoy correcting other people’s mistakes. I have two. My youngest stepson has 79 tattoos, most of them covering his arms and his hands, effectively eliminating 98 percent of the jobs in this world. Oh, but it’s OK because he’s gong to become a rock star. Soon he’s going to learn to play an instrument. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I like the way the human body looks without tattoos. I also have trouble understanding how people trust individuals they would never allow into their home, to permanently mark their bodies.
Not only do I not have any tattoos, I also have no body piercings. Something else I don’t quite understand. I see fifteen-year-old kids coming home with their tongues pierced.
I’m sure every Dad looks forward to the day his daughter comes home with her tongue pierced, and says “Hey dad! I’ve got a hobby!” Now I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. If I was fifteen years old and I strolled into the house with my tongue pierced, my mother would have ripped it out faster than a fisherman taking a daredevil lure out of a small-mouthed bass.
I don’t get things. I feel sorry for prostitutes. How are they supposed to dress to distinguish themselves from 10th graders? “How much?….Oops! I didn’t see your lunch box….No, I like Justin Bieber too. My bad!”
I don’t know how you discipline kids these days. I had to baby sit the other day. My niece is six years old and she handed me a bedtime story to read to her. It was a book I had heard of but never actually read. Now maybe I should have read this book quietly to myself before I read it out loud. It was the story of Hansel and Gretel. For those of you who don’t remember it, what a cheerful little bedtime story this is. Hansel and Gretel is the happy tale of two children whose father leaves them in a dark forest to die, somewhere in Germany. As they desperately try to find their way home, they get captured by an evil witch who decides to eat them. But not right away. First she had to fatten them up in a cage. So the two children, out of self-defense, break out of the cage, and kill the witch, by pushing her into a fiery oven. Pleasant dreams!! Wow! If they made a new version of this tale, maybe the witch could tattoo and body pierce them?

About the author

Signal Contributor

Signal Contributor

Step Kids

I have step kids. Step kids are fun, if you enjoy correcting other people’s mistakes. I have two. My youngest stepson has 79 tattoos, most of them covering his arms and his hands, effectively eliminating 98 percent of the jobs in this world. Oh, but it’s OK because he’s gong to become a rock star. Soon he’s going to learn to play an instrument. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I like the way the human body looks without tattoos. I also have trouble understanding how people trust individuals they would never allow into their home, to permanently mark their bodies.
Not only do I not have any tattoos, I also have no body piercings. Something else I don’t quite understand. I see fifteen-year-old kids coming home with their tongues pierced.
I’m sure every Dad looks forward to the day his daughter comes home with her tongue pierced, and says “Hey dad! I’ve got a hobby!” Now I grew up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. If I was fifteen years old and I strolled into the house with my tongue pierced, my mother would have ripped it out faster than a fisherman taking a daredevil lure out of a small-mouthed bass.
I don’t get things. I feel sorry for prostitutes. How are they supposed to dress to distinguish themselves from 10th graders? “How much?….Oops! I didn’t see your lunch box….No, I like Justin Bieber too. My bad!”
I don’t know how you discipline kids these days. I had to baby sit the other day. My niece is six years old and she handed me a bedtime story to read to her. It was a book I had heard of but never actually read. Now maybe I should have read this book quietly to myself before I read it out loud. It was the story of Hansel and Gretel. For those of you who don’t remember it, what a cheerful little bedtime story this is. Hansel and Gretel is the happy tale of two children whose father leaves them in a dark forest to die, somewhere in Germany. As they desperately try to find their way home, they get captured by an evil witch who decides to eat them. But not right away. First she had to fatten them up in a cage. So the two children, out of self-defense, break out of the cage, and kill the witch, by pushing her into a fiery oven. Pleasant dreams!! Wow! If they made a new version of this tale, maybe the witch could tattoo and body pierce them?

About the author

Signal Contributor

Signal Contributor

Upcoming Events

Jan
12
Fri
all-day Domes – Art Exhibit @ Old Town Newhall Library
Domes – Art Exhibit @ Old Town Newhall Library
Jan 12 – May 11 all-day
Domes - Art Exhibit @ Old Town Newhall Library | Santa Clarita | California | United States
Local resident Naomi Young, is the artist featured in the latest exhibit at the Old Town Newhall Library. The exhibit features original paintings and multimedia by Young, an artist born and raised in Jerusalem, Israel,[...]
Feb
1
Thu
all-day “The Golden Oaks of Santa Clarit... @ Valencia Library
“The Golden Oaks of Santa Clarit... @ Valencia Library
Feb 1 – Jun 1 all-day
“The Golden Oaks of Santa Clarita,” Art Exhibit @ Valencia Library  | Santa Clarita | California | United States
“THE GOLDEN OAKS OF SANTA CLARITA” ART EXHIBIT BY BRAD SERGI ON DISPLAY AT THE VALENCIA LIBRARY Library hours: Mon-Thu 10 a.m. – 9 p.m., Fri 10 a.m. – 6 p.m., Sat 10 a.m. – 5[...]
Feb
14
Wed
all-day Tickets Available Now for 41st A... @ Dodger Stadium
Tickets Available Now for 41st A... @ Dodger Stadium
Feb 14 – May 12 all-day
Tickets Available Now for 41st Annual SCV Dodger Day @ Dodger Stadium | Los Angeles | California | United States
SANTA CLARITA DODGER DAY TICKETS ON SALE NOW! Tickets Start at $25 and Benefit Local Schools and Non-Profits It’s time to step up to the plate! The Santa Clarita City Council invites residents to purchase[...]
Apr
19
Thu
all-day Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Apr 19 – Apr 22 all-day
BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW FOR COWBOY FESTIVAL CONCERTS – Locations, Times & Prices Vary 25th Annual Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival offers ticketed performances and special events Get ready for some toe-tapping, two-stepping, guitar-picking musical performances![...]
Apr
20
Fri
all-day Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Apr 20 – Apr 23 all-day
BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW FOR COWBOY FESTIVAL CONCERTS – Locations, Times & Prices Vary 25th Annual Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival offers ticketed performances and special events Get ready for some toe-tapping, two-stepping, guitar-picking musical performances![...]
7:00 pm Hart High School Presents ‘Bye, ... @ Hart High school Auditorium
Hart High School Presents ‘Bye, ... @ Hart High school Auditorium
Apr 20 @ 7:00 pm
Hart High School Presents 'Bye, Bye Birdie' @ Hart High school Auditorium | Santa Clarita | California | United States
Spring Musical Coming April 2018! Hart High Theatre is proud to present Bye Bye Birdie! April 19, 20, 27 & 28 @ 7pm April 28 & 29 @ 1pm When the draft selects rock star[...]
Apr
21
Sat
all-day Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival Co... @ Event Locations Vary
Apr 21 – Apr 24 all-day
BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW FOR COWBOY FESTIVAL CONCERTS – Locations, Times & Prices Vary 25th Annual Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival offers ticketed performances and special events Get ready for some toe-tapping, two-stepping, guitar-picking musical performances![...]
10:00 am Astronomy Day @ Valencia Library
Astronomy Day @ Valencia Library
Apr 21 @ 10:00 am – 10:00 pm
The Local Group Astronomy Club and The Santa Clarita Public Library present our free annual Astronomy Day Celebration. We will be at the Valencia branch of the Santa Clarita Public Library from 10am to 3pm.[...]
10:00 am Resource Parents Needed to Foste... @ College of the Canyons, Dr. Dianne G. Van Hook University Center, Room 222
Resource Parents Needed to Foste... @ College of the Canyons, Dr. Dianne G. Van Hook University Center, Room 222
Apr 21 @ 10:00 am – 12:00 pm
Resource Parents Needed to Foster or Foster-Adopt a Child @ College of the Canyons, Dr. Dianne G. Van Hook University Center, Room 222 | Santa Clarita | California | United States
Adoption is a meaningful way for individuals and couples to fulfill their dream of parenting.  There are approximately 64,000 children in foster care in California.  Los Angeles County’s foster care population exceeds 21,000 children with[...]
10:00 am The City of Lancaster’s 27th Ann... @ Sgt. Steve Owen Memorial Park
The City of Lancaster’s 27th Ann... @ Sgt. Steve Owen Memorial Park
Apr 21 @ 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
The City of Lancaster’s 27th Annual California Poppy Festival, Sat & Sun @ Sgt. Steve Owen Memorial Park | Lancaster | California | United States
On April 21 and 22, the City of Lancaster will host the 27th annual California Poppy Festival™ at Sgt. Steve Owen Memorial Park (43063 10th Street West). Drawing more than 40,000 attendees and spanning 35[...]