I would like to take you to Zohran Mamdani’s (hypothetical) past so you can get an insight into his current position.
It is Public School 25 in New York City and Zohran is in junior high. He confides his latest scheme to his closest friend.
Zohran: I’ve decided to run for ASB president.
Friend: But you’ve never been in leadership class. You don’t know anything about being ASB president.
Zohran: Any fool can be president. I have my campaign speech all mapped out. Wait ’til you hear my speech at the election assembly. Besides, if I win, I think that Talia will go out with me.
Friend: She won’t give you the time of day.
Zohran: We’ll see about that.
The day of the election assembly arrives and Zohran is the last speaker.
Zohran: My fellow New Yorkers, I am a proud democratic socialist. (There are murmurs in the crowd, “What is he talking about?”) I stand before you today to offer you hope — hope for freedom from the autocratic rule of Principal Johnson, an oligarch if there ever was one. (More murmurs from the crowd. “Who is this nut job?”) To put it in plain language that you can understand, I promise that if elected I will abolish the outdated A-F grading system. In my one-year reign, you will receive A’s in all of your classes, regardless of test results. It will be a classless student body. (Thunderous applause.) I also promise that you will have the free lunch of your choice from a dozen of Manhattan’s finest restaurants. (The applause builds.) I also guarantee there will be no heavy-handed discipline from counselors, administrators, or campus supervisors. Power to the people! (Thunderous applause.)
One year later:
Friend: Zohran, you haven’t been able to follow through with any of your campaign promises.
Zohran: I got elected didn’t I? Promise them everything and they’ll follow you like blind sheep.
Friend: Zohran, you suck!
Zohran: Don’t worry, I’ll be back.
Larry Moore
Valencia
